Not Our Kind Read online

  Dedication

  For Paul—now and always

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Twenty-Five

  Twenty-Six

  Twenty-Seven

  Twenty-Eight

  Twenty-Nine

  Thirty

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  One

  The yellow-and-black Checker cab nosed its way down Second Avenue in the rain. A newsboy in a sodden cap wove in and out through the slow-moving cars, hawking copies of the New York Sun; a man in a Plymouth exchanged coins for a newspaper as the drivers behind him honked.

  Eleanor Moskowitz, perched on the edge of the backseat, didn’t bother looking at her watch because she had just looked at her watch. It had been 9:29 then. It would be 9:30 now. In fifteen minutes, Eleanor had a job interview at the Markham School on Seventy-First and West End Avenue, thirteen city blocks down plus the width of Central Park away. It was unlikely that she was going to be on time. “Why is there so much traffic?” she asked the driver.

  “Water-main break somewhere near here. And President Truman is in town,” the driver said. “I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that traffic’s backed up all over the East Side.”

  Eleanor slid over toward the window and rolled it down, letting a fine mist into the cab. To her left, directly alongside the cab, there was a horse hitched to a dark red wagon. She was almost parallel to the animal and could see the sag of his belly, the matte black of his coat. He shook his head and snorted, as if in sympathetic frustration at the delay.

  “Hey, do you mind closing the window?” said the driver, his irritation apparent. “It’s getting all wet back there.”

  “Sorry.” Eleanor rolled the window up again. She stared at the back of the driver’s thick neck. His graying hair had been shorn by a razor, like all the soldiers demobilized from the army a couple of years back. The war was a memory now but certain images, like all those gawky boys with their fresh-cropped heads, stuck.

  Sweat started to pool under Eleanor’s arms and she took off the jacket of her navy crepe suit and laid it carefully across her lap so it would not crease. Her pocketbook and her umbrella—black silk with a bone handle—sat beside her. A navy hat made, like all her hats, by her mother, fit snugly on her head. Although it was fashioned from finely woven straw, the hat was still making her perspire, but she wouldn’t take it off for fear it might get crushed.

  She had been so nervous about today’s interview that she’d been unable to sleep the night before. Around five she finally drifted off, and then sat up with a horrified start when she realized she’d slept right through the alarm and it was almost eight thirty. Her mother had had an early morning appointment and so no one had been there to rouse her. She dressed in a rush, cursed the rain that splattered against the apartment’s windows, and once she was out in the street, decided to splurge on a taxi. Amazingly, the Checker cab had pulled up right to the corner of Second Avenue and Eighty-Fourth Street just as she stepped out of her building. She sprinted up to claim it and hurriedly climbed in.

  But now the cab was barely moving. Eleanor looked down and discreetly straightened the seams of her new nylons. Not that the driver was paying attention; he was hunkered down over the wheel, muttering about the traffic. She sighed. It was not like Eleanor to be late, especially not for something as important as a job interview. And not when she needed a job so badly. She’d turned in her resignation at the Brandon-Wythe School just two days ago, feeling her hand had been forced by the Lucinda Meriwether incident.

  Lucinda had been an excellent student, one of the very best Eleanor had encountered. Yet Eleanor didn’t like her. Her insights were delivered in a slightly mocking tone, as if the class—and Eleanor—were somehow beneath her. She had also been the ringleader of a small group that had ganged up on Mary Watson, a shy, plump girl with a painful stutter, until Eleanor had stepped in. So when Eleanor discovered Lucinda had plagiarized a paper on Emily Dickinson she hadn’t been entirely surprised. The girl was intellectually gifted but morally suspect. Eleanor had taken the whole matter to Mrs. Holcombe, the headmistress of the school, confident of her support. She had been wrong. And so she’d had no choice but to resign and scramble to find another job.

  Odious as the whole business with Lucinda Meriwether was, its outcome had a silver lining—it gave Eleanor a reason to leave her job, a reason she could admit to in public. That she had another compelling reason to go, well, that she didn’t have to tell anyone. Ever.

  Starting back in the fall, she had allowed Ira Greenfeld, who taught physics, to slip his hands not only under the cups of her cotton brassiere, causing her small, startled nipples to jump to attention at the unfamiliar caress, but also under the scalloped hem of her slip, beyond the tops of her stockings, the metal clasps of her garter belt, and right inside her underpants. The gentle pressure of his thumb against that strange, nameless bit of flesh at her very core had been so intoxicating and addictive that she allowed these liberties to continue, despite the fact that they took place without the reassuring benefit of a ring—gold, or even one capped with the merest chip of a diamond—on her finger.

  For the next few months Ira had brought her bouquets of tea roses, escorted her to dinners, movies, and the occasional concert or play, all as an elaborate prelude to the other, the thing which they both craved but did not discuss. Then, quite abruptly, Ira stopped calling or coming by. He also began to avoid her looks—at first wondering, then wounded—as they passed in the hallways at school. Soon the reason had become clear. Ira had turned his attention to the new young teacher in the science department, the effervescent and diminutive Miss Kligerman, whose dense blond curls looked like an electrified halo around her head, and whose breasts were so enormous Eleanor wondered that she didn’t topple over from the sheer heft of them.

  Of course everyone knew she’d been jilted. Brandon-Wythe was a small community. When Eleanor saw the way her colleagues looked at her—like a castoff, spurned for another—the shame she felt was like an actual substance coating her skin, something slick, oily, and vile. This had been in early March. The term did not end until the beginning of June. She had endured the humiliation, the pity, as well as her own resentment, stoically, and did not confide in her mother, who said, quite pointedly, “I haven’t seen Ira lately. How is he?”

  “He’s been busy,” Eleanor said. Please don’t ask me any more, she thought. She and her mother had always been close but Eleanor could not reveal the extent of her intimacy with Ira; to do so would mortify them both.

  “He must be very busy,” said Irina.

  Oh, Eleanor had wanted to tell her about Ira’s dropping her, but was afraid that once she began her confession, she would feel compelled to reveal everything. As much as Eleanor longed to leave her job immediately, she did not have that luxury. She needed the income, and even if she were to forfeit it, she needed the recommendation from her employer, a recommendation that might not be forthcoming if she were impetuous enough to leave in the middle of the term. Then Lucinda had turned in her paper on Dickinson an
d between its cadged lines—Despite her reticent nature and near-pathological reclusiveness, the belle of Amherst was, in her poetry, direct, confrontational, and even radical—Eleanor had found a way out.

  The taxi had been stalled for several minutes and a chorus of horns blared behind it. It was now 9:35 and they had gotten as far as Seventy-Ninth Street and Lexington Avenue, but still had a good distance to go. Finally there was an opening and the driver was able to move ahead. Eleanor used her fist to rub the surface of the window. A diaper-service truck was slightly ahead of them, its pink-and-white siding enlivened by a large painting of a baby blue stork. “Why did the president have to pick today to come into town?” she said to herself, but the driver caught her eye in the rearview mirror.

  “You have a beef with him?” he asked.

  “No,” she said. Eleanor had nothing against Truman, though she’d never felt for him the fervent admiration that she had for FDR. She remembered accompanying her mother on election night, proud to cast her very first vote for him. “It’s just that I’m going to be late for an appointment.”

  She checked her watch again and tapped lightly on the crystal, as if in so doing, she could halt the passage of the seconds. They reached Park Avenue, and through the window, Eleanor regarded the solid, stately apartment buildings, one set down squarely next to another, like a row of grand old dowagers at the opera. In front of one doorway stood a pair of massive urns densely filled with flowers, bright bursts of color in a gray day. A uniformed maid held two black standard poodles on a leash beneath an awning, presumably waiting for a lull in the rain.

  As the cab crept along, Eleanor thought of the last conversation she’d had with the Brandon-Wythe headmistress. “This incident with Lucinda is certainly unfortunate,” Mrs. Holcombe had said. She was an imposing woman who stood nearly six feet tall, and even seated she seemed to command the small, tasteful office with its polished mahogany desk, grandfather clock, and glass-fronted bookshelves.

  “Unfortunate?” Eleanor said, flaring. “I’d call it reprehensible.”

  “We’re talking about a girl of seventeen. That’s strong language.”

  “It may be strong,” said Eleanor. “It’s also accurate.”

  “We don’t have to parse the semantics any further,” said Mrs. Holcombe. “Because the incident is not going beyond this office.”

  “Mrs. Holcombe, you do understand that she lifted whole sentences from Olive Thompson’s Voices in American Poetry? Maybe even a paragraph. There’s just no excuse for what she did. I’ve given the paper an F. She gave me no choice.”

  To Eleanor’s surprise, Mrs. Holcombe leaned back in her chair, a tolerant and wry expression on her face. “Eleanor, you are a fine, principled young woman. And an excellent teacher. But when it comes to how the world works, I’m afraid you’re as innocent as one of our girls.”

  “I’m not sure I understand,” said Eleanor. She was angry but did not want to antagonize Mrs. Holcombe. As one of the three Jewish teachers on staff—Ira and the despised Miss Kligerman were the others—Eleanor knew her position was not rock solid.

  “Lucinda’s mother and aunt were students here. The Meriwethers donate a substantial amount of money to the school and Lucinda’s father is on the board. And as surprising as it may seem to you, we need their support. Lucinda has applied to Radcliffe, Smith, Wellesley, and Bryn Mawr, and it’s likely she’ll be accepted by all of them. We don’t want to do anything that would . . . endanger her chances because you see, Eleanor, we can’t afford to.”

  Eleanor was quiet. Could this really be the case? To her, the school had seemed replete with privilege, with resources. Still, Lucinda’s behavior was wrong and Eleanor had to say so. “But what she did—”

  “Is a regrettable lapse. If it would help, I would allow you to speak to her privately. I’ll call her into my office and you can join us. We’ll explain that you are aware of what she’s done and though you’re not going to do anything about it this time, others may not be so lenient in the future. We could think of this as a kind of warning.”

  “With all due respect, Mrs. Holcombe, that makes us as culpable as she is.”

  Again there was that tolerant, almost bemused smile. “As impractical and unworldly as your position is, I respect it, I really do. And I respect you. But that’s not the way it’s going to be, Eleanor. Do you understand?”

  She looked down at her lap and then up at Mrs. Holcombe. “I don’t know where it leaves me though.”

  “You’ll have to work that out for yourself. I’ve spelled out my position. If you can’t accept it, then I’m afraid . . .”

  “That I’ll have to resign.” The words were out before Eleanor knew it, a challenge between them.

  “Why not sleep on it and let me know in the morning. You could talk it over with your family—”

  “No!” said Eleanor, a little too loudly. She simply could not discuss this with her mother. “It’s just that, I mean . . .”

  “As you wish,” said Mrs. Holcombe. “Of course I’ll accept whatever decision you make. But I’d hate to lose you, Eleanor.”

  “And I’d be sorry to go.” That was true; there was so much about the job that Eleanor loved. Then she thought of Lucinda’s smug, supercilious expression; she doubted that the girl would be the least bit abashed by the meeting Mrs. Holcombe was proposing. And she thought too of Ira, turning away when they passed in the hallways or on the stairs. Out of courtesy, she would not tell Mrs. Holcombe what she realized she had just decided; she would pretend to think it over for a night. But in her heart she knew: it was time to go.

  And so here she was, in this yellow whale of a taxi laboriously making its way toward the Markham School on the West Side. Eleanor had resigned, and begged off from a farewell party. In tacit exchange for her silence about Lucinda, Mrs. Holcombe had given her a month’s severance and a glowing letter of reference, a letter that Eleanor had to refrain from reading too many times lest it become ragged and soiled from constant handling.

  It was late in the year to be applying for the Markham job and she had only gotten the interview because her college friend Annabelle Wertheimer—the only other Jew in her dorm at Vassar—taught there and had managed to arrange it at the last minute. “The headmistress owes me a favor,” Annabelle had said.

  Eleanor knew her chances of landing this position were slim. But she had to try because she so badly needed a job. She could have gone to work in her mother’s hat shop on Second Avenue, just downstairs from their third-floor walk-up tenement apartment. As a little girl she had loved being in the shop, with its gold-painted script spelling out HATS BY IRINA in a graceful arc across the window, loved the ribbons and bows, the veils, the bunches of silk flowers and faux fruit that made up the raw materials of her mother’s craft. But her mother had adamantly refused her daughter’s offer to join her. “Hats are good,” her mother had said. “Teaching is better.” This might have been the eleventh commandment as far as she was concerned. Irina had been nine when she came from Russia with her mother and two younger brothers; her father had been killed and her mother was fleeing pogroms and the revolution. She’d never gone to school past the fifth grade, and was determined to see her daughter surpass her. And Eleanor had. She’d gone to the prestigious Hunter College High School for Intellectually Gifted Young Ladies where she had been the editor in chief of the literary magazine and the class valedictorian. After high school she had attended Vassar on a scholarship. The job at Brandon-Wythe had been her first, and now it too was part of her past.

  She’d been in this taxi for over thirty minutes, minutes during which she sat rigidly, watching the meter tick and the fare rise; it was now more than two dollars and the taxi had again hit a vexing snarl of stalled cars, unable to move at all. “Maybe you could try going down Fifth,” she ventured.

  “That might be even worse,” the driver said. He continued on Park Avenue for a few feet then stopped—again!—for yet another red light. Eleanor was awash in a helpl
ess rage.

  When the light changed to green, she turned again toward the window and leaned back just the slightest bit, allowing some of her tension to dissipate. But as the driver was about to make a turn, there was a sudden jolt from behind. Instantly, she was thrust forward and her face was slammed against the unyielding surface of the driver’s seat. Her hands flew to her lip, which the impact had split; she tasted blood. Then an ache radiated from her mouth outward until it seemed to engulf her whole body. She began to shake.

  “He rammed right into me!” The driver opened his door. “Son of a bitch rammed right into me!”

  Eleanor said nothing. She was trembling and kept her hands pressed over her mouth. The blood was dripping now, bright, round circles, onto her ivory silk blouse. The interview, she thought. I’ve got to get to the interview.

  “Are you hurt?” the driver said, finally turning to Eleanor. “Hey, you’re bleeding!”

  “I’m all right,” she said, removing a hand from her face to root around in her handbag for a handkerchief. “It’s just my lip.”

  “Here, take this,” he said, offering his own rumpled and rather grimy white square. Eleanor had no wish to offend him, but she didn’t want to press the dirty cloth to her mouth either. She continued to hold her fingers against the wound. The driver’s attention was elsewhere in any case, shouting at the other driver—also a cabbie—who had inflicted the damage. Eleanor cranked down the window.

  “You hit me!” the driver of Eleanor’s taxi said. “Just smacked right into me.”

  “You dumb jackass! You didn’t signal you—”

  “Didn’t signal? What are you—blind? Or just a moron?”

  Still trembling, Eleanor remained where she sat. Outside, a crowd had gathered. She heard someone say they were going to get a policeman from the station down the street. More shouting from the drivers, shouting that intensified when the police officer showed up several minutes later. The sight of him galvanized her; she clambered out of the cab, clutching her jacket, purse, and umbrella. Maybe he could help her, even drive her to the interview. She envisioned a wild ride through the wet streets, siren wailing and lights flashing.